Thursday, 12 January 2017

A poem by Ann Leahy

Cellulite Bandits

for (but not about) my sisters   

We are the cellulite bandits.
We threaten with a flash of thigh.
From editors of Tabloids, we enquire
‘Why stick to breasts if you like wobbly bits?’

We strut on beaches wearing scarlet
thongs, urging other bathers not to hide -
‘Admit it, dimples do look cute on thighs.’
We are the cellulite bandits.

Coffee, clotted cream, chocolate with red wine –
we publish diets that are good for it,
campaign for stipple, champion wood chip
and threaten with a flash of thigh.

We raid department stores, mount pickets
over sales of firming gel. ‘CHOOSE CELLULITE.’
our placards say, ‘THIGH-DIMPLE PRIDE.’
We are the cellulite bandits.

On Rubens’ birthday, we arrange for picnics
at pool sides – dress optional. Guests vie
to win the titles ‘Lumpiest’, ‘Ms Jellified.’
We are the cellulite bandits.
We threaten with a flash of thigh.

(This poem was previously published in the collection 'The Woman who Lived her Life Backwards' Arlen, 2008)









Ann Leahy’s first collection, ‘The Woman who Lived her Life Backwards,’ (Arlen House, 2008) won the Patrick Kavanagh Award. Individual poems have also won or been placed in national competitions in Ireland and the U.K. (such the Gerard Manley Hopkins, The New Writer, the Poetry on the Wall, Clogh Writers,’ and others) and she has twice had poems commended in the British National Poetry Competition. She was also shortlisted for a Hennessy award. Her poems have been published widely in journals and anthologies. She grew up in Co. Tipperary and lives in Dublin.

No comments:

Post a Comment