Monday, 25 December 2017

2 Christmas poems by Conor Cleary & Julia Webb

real tree          
by Conor Cleary

my nana told me how my aunt
got allergies one year suddenly
from the christmas tree

how she took steroids for a week
to no avail in hopes of keeping
a real tree in her living room

she had to give up at 3 am
on the 24th when it came down
to authenticity or breathing

she slipped out to the supermarket
open all night for christmas
and got a flat-packed tree instead

i can’t stop imagining her doing the swap
the silent undecorating
the indignant ornaments on the floor

i can’t stop being impressed
by this colossal sleight of hand

the next morning my aunt asked her family
if they noticed anything different
and her husband panicked and said she looked nice

it was almost new year’s
when he took out the vacuum
and noticed there were no pine needles 

by Julia Webb

On Christmas day Daddy makes us act out scenes from the bible. Daddy is Joseph and Mama is Mary, me and Alice are sometimes wise men and sometimes shepherds. It’s a bit like the nativity play but with no audience and at school I always have to be a donkey. Daddy takes it very seriously. Girls, he says, nativity is almost as important as THE RESURRECTION. I don’t know what resurrection means but Alice says it’s to do with Easter. Luckily the living room carpet is the same colour as grass so it makes an excellent hillside. The cat won’t sit still though, so she doesn’t make a very good sheep. After ages Mama says we have had enough now and she needs to cook dinner, but Daddy says we need to act out the story again so that we REALLY understand it. I don’t mind, I like dressing up in Mama’s old nightie, though I’m not so keen on the tea towel on my head because it smells like cabbage. I just wish we could have an Advent calendar with chocolates like my friend Samantha. Samantha had a chocolate Santa and a chocolate donkey. Daddy says that Santa is THE WORK OF THE DEVIL and I want to believe him, but I can’t help thinking that if Satan REALLY invented Santa he would have made him thinner and more handsome and given him a flying car like the one in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.


Conor Cleary is from Tralee, Co. Kerry and lives in Belfast. He has recently graduated with an MA in Poetry from Queen's University, Belfast, where he was the recipient of the 2016 Seamus Heaney Centre MA Award. His poetry has previously been published in Icarus, The Tangerine, and Poetry Ireland Review. He was a participant in the 2017 Poetry Ireland Introductions Series.

Julia Webb is a graduate of The University of East Anglia's poetry MA. In 2011 she won The Poetry Society's Stanza competition. She is a poetry editor for Lighthouse. Her first collection Bird Sisters was published in 2016 by Nine Arches Press. She is working on her second collection. She lives in Norwich where she teaches creative writing.

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